When we are in an airplane, we are told that if the oxygen masks come down, we need to put our own mask on first. How tempting it is sometimes to want to do just the opposite! But if we can’t breathe, we can’t help anyone else breathe. We need to take care of ourselves on an ongoing basis in order to be able to give to anyone else in healthy ways. … [Read more...] about Who Are You Taking Care of First?
Setting boundaries with addicted loved ones
Which Matters More to You?
Too often, we are taught that other people’s opinions of us matter more than our own. “What will the neighbours say?” is a refrain I heard often in my childhood. But now I know better. Today I understand that how I feel about myself – my own self-respect – is the most important thing that I either have or don’t have. Self-respect is no longer negotiable in my life – I will not be giving it up again. … [Read more...] about Which Matters More to You?
My Son Has Had Addiction Issues for 10 Years
Dear Candace, My son has had addiction issues for close to 10 years, and his ex-wife even longer. His addiction escalated when his oldest daughter was a senior in high school. She went off to college which got her physically out of the situation, and her younger sister who was 12 at the time came to live with us, and is now 20 and in her third year of college. My son's addiction escalated to being arrested a few times, about three years ago he showed up in really bad shape claiming that he … [Read more...] about My Son Has Had Addiction Issues for 10 Years
My Son Is Addicted to Crystal Meth
Hi Candace! My son has been addicted to crystal meth off and on for 2 years now. Suddenly he is starting to be mean to me and blames me for everything. He is also mentally and physically disabled. I have tried everything to help him except putting him out of the house. I can't quite bring myself to do it, even though the cops (who I have had to call, lately) recommend it. He is very thin and his health is suffering but refuses to go to a real doctor. I even Marchman acted him recently but they … [Read more...] about My Son Is Addicted to Crystal Meth
What are you role modelling for the addict you love?
When we role model self-care and self-respect, rebuilding our own lives instead of putting everyone else’s needs ahead of our own, the addict in our lives sits up and takes notice. As you begin to experience more joy and satisfaction in your life, different choice by different choice, you open the possibility for your addicted loved one to choose to do the same thing in their life. Is there a better example of a win-win than that? … [Read more...] about What are you role modelling for the addict you love?